Excerpt of Please Knock 

(from the middle)

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            WENDY

I repeat. Have we lost all sense of morality?

 

            CHARLOTTE

(To WENDY.) I’m not the one who bought a penis toy for my niece!

 

(EVA breaks out laughing.)

 

            WENDY

What?

 

            CHARLOTTE

(Grabbing and holding up the little “man” from the pillow toy.) What is this?

 

            WENDY

A carrot!

 

            CHARLOTTE

A carrot wearing a trench coat.

 

            WENDY

It’s orange.

 

            CHARLOTTE

It’s yellow. And it’s a yellow trench coat, on a carrot.

 

            WENDY

Well, if it’s wearing a trench coat, it is not a, a, a well, you know.

 

            EVA

A penis.

 

            CHARLOTTE

Well, it isn’t a carrot either.

 

 

            WENDY

I hadn’t looked that close if you want to know. And the rest are animals, so I just figured. You know, for the rabbit.

 

            EVA

(Picks up the pink animal and the little “man” and plays suggestively with them,) These are cute.

 

            WENDY

You are horrible, and you are desecrating my niece’s toy!

 

            CHARLOTTE

Well, as I said, so long as Olivia doesn’t put that thing in her mouth!

 

            WENDY

Your minds are in the gutter!

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(...continued...)

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