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Excerpt of Lunch at McDonald's

From near the beginning (formatted for web viewing)


(MARS and her son GARTH, both vegetarians, attempt to order inside a McDonald’s restaurant along a hot desert highway.)

GARTH: I thought you wanted a hamburger.

MARS: (Still reading the menu.) I did. I do.

GARTH: So go ahead. I know this is just an excuse for you to indulge your basic carnivore nature.

MARS: Once or twice a year is a carnivore nature? (Continues reading.)

GARTH: Fast food! It’s called fast food, Mom!

MARS: I’m reading.

GARTH: She’ll have a hamburger.

SERVER: Which one?

GARTH: The cow one.

MARS: (To the SERVER.) Um. What’s the difference between the Big Mac and the Quarter Pounder?

SERVER: The Big Mac’s got two patties and the Quarter Pounder is a quarter pound of meat.

MARS: (Confused.) That clarifies it.

SERVER: The Big Mac has more bread.

GARTH: Look, Mom. The Quarter Pounder’s like a regular hamburger only it’s got a quarter pound of meat. The Big Mac is like a really big sandwich with a bun on each side, two patties, with an extra piece of bread in the middle.

MARS: Well, aren’t you the hamburger man of the world!

GARTH: Unlike you, I do live in the real world.

MARS: You don’t live in the real world. You go to school and watch television.

GARTH: That’s what I said.


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